Wednesday of last week, at precisely 4:57 PM, I was waiting to cross the street at 7th & Madison, when I saw an airship hovering low over the city. While taking a sip of my Venti Double Foam Soy Vanilla with Cinnamon & Arsenic Latte, I noticed a thin ladder descend from the blimp. The ladder lowered several hundred feet and came to rest at the top of the abandoned WallMars super mega-store.
Having worked at this store many years prior as an assistant manager customer service greeter cast member representative, I knew how to sneak in. I climbed the legally required but never used stairwell up to the roof access door. For some reason, the door had a freshly installed EXIT sign, which was lit brightly in the otherwise condemned building. Pushing the door open and walking past the bed-bug infested couch where we used to take prune juice sippy cup breaks, I found myself panting like an asthmatic beaver. Apparently, I need to exercise more.
At this point, the drumming of the airship motors was deafening, and my clip-on tie flapped wildly in the draft. There above me, as opposed to underneath which would have been odd, was a massive dirigible that looked much like the Hindenburg did on its maiden voyage, pre-fireball disaster. I threw caution to the wind, gulping the rest of my drink even though I risked burning my tongue, and climbed the ladder.
This audio documents the next ten hours of my life. It's possible I might have been napping in the blimp for most of that time. But the white noise sound I recorded is, well, brilliantly steampunky.
As for what happened next, stay tuned. . .
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